Happy Fall Everyone

Things are improving.  Jae has slept pretty good the last few nights but I have yet to move the make-shift bed for Paul or myself out of Jae's room.  Being a little superstitious, I feel like the minute I the blankets and mat out of Jae's room he will take a step back.  One day at a time.

On my first letter to the foster family, I gave them my blog address.  Hoping that they will check in every now and again, I am going to post pictures of Jae as often as possible. 

Guess what the national animal of S. Korea is?

Happy Halloween!



Love,
Jae's Mom

Not All Fun and Games

The reason I have not blogged since Friday...regression.  Jae has regressed.  Which let me start out by saying this is very normal.  Things are going along swimmingly and then boom, something triggers a memory and the child regresses back a few steps.  We think Jae started to regress when we went up North for a weekend on Lake Superior.  The room we stayed in reminded him too much of our room in Korea and my belief is now he thinks we are going to leave him.  And who can blame him?  The one time he stayed in a hotel room his whole life was turned upside down.  Regression can occur in many different forms.  Kids that are walking may go back to crawling.  Or talking in their native language.  But for Jae, he regressed with his night time routine/habits.  Ever since our nights up North he has been waking up a ton and even having night terrors every few nights.  :(  Night terrors are like bad dreams they don't completely wake up from.  Jae pushes, kicks, screams and is inconsolable even though his eyes are open.  Two nights ago was the worst one and Paul and I tried every things to get him out of his "dream like" state.  Toys.  Lights.  Puppy.  Kitty.  Rubbing his back.  Talking softly. Cold washcloth.   But finally resorted to carrying him outside and let the cold wake him up. 

Jae has also been very clingy during the day.  He wants to be held almost constantly.  Even when it comes to playing on the floor with toys, he wants to be sitting on your lap or very close to it.  It is hard on all three of us.  One day at a time and we will get through it.  Hopefully sooner than later...in the mean time, we are all pretty tired. 

And now for some cute pictures because talking about the sad stuff isn't fun.  We went to the local pumpkin patch with our very good friends who happen to be our next door neighbors.  As you can see, we didn't make it too far past the giant pile of leaves.  They were a huge hit with both the boys.

Love,
Jae's Mom

Morning in the Life of Jae

I always wake up happy

bananas are my favorite breakfast fruit

Then play around in the kitchen

Then it is off to my room for some books

But I found a hat Mom and Dad bought me in San Diego

The hat looks great with my Monster themed PJs

Larry is sad because we used to take tons of pictures of him

Love,
Jae's Mom

First Morning of Day Care

Today is a big day for our little guy, his first morning all by himself at daycare.  We have been spending a few hours at a time there, always keeping Mom close, but this morning he is on his own.  When I left he was just fine enjoying his French toast and applesauce.
However it isn't all steps forward.  Last night we had a hard step back...he started grieving for foster family at midnight.  There is no question in our minds.  We haven't heard cries like that since Korea.  He didn't want us to hold him and he thrashed around in the crib when we tried to put him down.  It was so sad.  Jae went back to sleep but also had a mini grieving session when he woke up this morning.  The cries are just so different and he absolutely throws his head back and pushes away.  It broke my heart.  Jae wasn't the only one with tears in his eyes when it was all over.  And I can't help but worry that the day care and grieving are possibly linked?  We will see how today and tonight goes. 

A few pictures from the last few days:

Throwing rocks in Lake Superior with Daddy

Trying out my day care backpack...except I forgot to bring it with this morning.

Wonderful fall afternoons

Jae LOVES ice cream



Things That Keep Us Busy

The petting zoo at the MN Zoo with my BFF, Cam

Finger painting

Visits from my Korean cousin, Cheol

Attending the Owatonna Cross Country meet

Picking out a pumpkin

Watching the monkeys at the MN zoo

An Apple a Day

If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, Jae is good to go.  On Sunday we met up with our friends at at apple/grape/pumpkin orchard to let our boys play and taste test some Minnesota produce.  The boys were pretty shy at first, but warmed up once they got inside and in an environment they were more comfortable with.  The Moms just thought these city slicker Seoul kids were too good for this country outing we took them on.  Hail bails?  What?  Where are the sidewalks and tall buildings with all the bright lights?

Jae also decided that the fridge is a good spot to sit down and take a rest.  Where did we find this kid? :)



In more adoption news, we have out first post-placement home visit with our social worker in about 2 hours.  We will meet with her one month after placement (today) and at 3 months and 5 months.  And as with any other official adoption business, plenty of paperwork goes along with each visit.  We had forms to fill out regarding a US birth certificate, representing ourselves in court for finalization (as opposed to hiring an attorney), pictures for the foster family, birth mother and our Korean agency, etc, etc.  One of the most important pieces was a letter to the birth mother.  Sadly, I procrastinated until the last minute on that one because I wasn't sure exactly how to word what I felt.  It isn't the longest letter I have ever written, but probably one that I have put the most thought into.  Although only one letter is required, I plan on writing more in the future.  The last thing I want is for Jae's birth mother to go looking for updated pictures/letters and there to be none.  I will make sure the information is available if she so chooses to go looking for it.

Love,
Jae's Mom