Tuesday, March 1, 2011

2 to 5 months

The title says it all.  We are at least 2 months away from traveling to get Jae and quite possibly 5 months.  It absolutely and completely breaks my heart.  Jae Miles is having his first birthday at the end of this month and there is basically no chance he will be home for it.  That is a very tough pill to swallow.  We struggled with this news yesterday, but like all the other times we have received bad news, Paul and I lean on each other.  There is no good or sudden reason for this news; in fact, we probably should have seen this coming.  But we are optimists and I guess we just both hoped EWS (our Korean agency) would somehow get their act together and push travel notifications through.  We take comfort in the fact that our US agency is doing everything they can to help.  Our Korean specialist (who is employed by our US agency) has tried to suggest things to our EWS to help speed up the process, but she is walking on thin ice.  If she starts stepping on toes over there...the referrals to our US agency will stop.  The last thing we want is for EWS, or any other Korean agency, to discontinue adoption relations with the US. 

So what else does the mean?  It means we put together (another) care package for Jae's first birthday.  We are still limited by the one gallon zip lock bag...which already won't zip shut and we only have 4 items in there.  A tiny fuzzy little Easter Bunny, a stuffed elephant/blanket combo, a photo book filled with pictures of Paul and I, and my favorite entry (and the reason the bag won't zip shut) a recordable story book.  A few months ago I purchased the recordable story book from a Hallmark Store hoping I would never have the opportunity to send it.  Paul and  I took turns reading the pages so Jae can get familiar with our voices while looking at the book.  On the last page we recorded a quick birthday message to Jae.  We wished him a happy 1st birthday and said we are hoping to come get him soon.  It breaks my heart. 

However, I am going to pick myself up and focus all my energy on marathon training.  Last summer we both signed up to run Grandma's marathon on June 18th.  When Jae's referral came back in September, we assumed that only one of us would run while the other would be on baby duty.  I guess the good news is that both of us get to run 26.2 miles?!?!? 

Jae's Mom

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